My Alma Mater Gave Me an Award and I Have Feelings About It
Last night at a gala at Gladstone House in Toronto, I was presented with an award by Principal Dean of Queen’s University, for Outstanding Alumni Achievement for my 20+ year career as a musician.
I won’t downplay what it meant to me: I was truly honoured, thrilled and validated to be recognized by my former academic institution in this way.
News of this award took me by surprise. Loved ones had been working hard behind the scenes to secure the recognition on my behalf.
It began when Queen’s Development Coordinator Peggy Shanks reached out to my husband Grant (her longtime friend), suggesting that I would be a good candidate for nomination, but that the submission process was lengthy and involved.
After 15 years of marriage, and attending various music industry award ceremonies by my side, Grant knows all-too-well that Words Awards of Affirmation are, for better or for worse, my love language. Grant understood the assignment, and secretly set about reaching out to friends and colleagues in my field to solicit letters of endorsement.
For me, this was THE MOST romantic gesture.
To have testimonials, shared by my peers, whom I hold in the highest regard, lovingly compiled and presented to me, was better than any bouquet, or any trinket that money could buy. The gift was having me and my creative pursuits BE SEEN. Be acknowledged. Celebrated.
Grant suggested that he stay home in Vancouver and look after the kids while I attend the ceremony in Toronto with my parents. He knows how much my parents’ approval still means to me, and I know that much of what I’ve achieved in my life has been due to the foundational love and support provided by my parents.
In my family, it was very much expected that my brother and I would attend university, my father being a university professor himself. I was enthusiastic about the idea of going away to school, ready to bust out of my suburban family home and spread my wings. My older brother Matt was the first to attend Queen’s, and after multiple trips on VIA Rail trains to go and visit him on campus, I followed in his footsteps a few years later.
While I loved living in Kingston, I never really felt like I fit in with the typical Queen’s crowd. I was drawn to the artists and misanthropes, the ones who didn’t follow the playbook. To my 18-year old self, university represented a four-year hall pass between adolescence and “the real world,” a chance to live with lovable weirdo roommates, get high and engage in hours-long philosophical debates, and sure, attend some inspiring lectures, and read, write and think critically.
Being a student gave me a chance to play-act my life as an adult and working musician. I performed at every open-mic night and coffeehouse gig I could land. I wrote the BEST songs when I was procrastinating writing an essay. I got serious about my craft, my ambition grew, and I got competitive (I came in second place at Queen’s Battle of the Bands- to Bedouin Soundclash). It was during this time that the notion of chasing my music dreams full-time had taken hold.
Four years later, I graduated.
My parents were disappointed that I was too cool to attend my commencement ceremony- the diploma had to be shipped. As a young up-and-coming musician, the pomp and circumstance of a Queen’s ceremony wasn’t my thing.
But arriving last night at the gala, donning my old Queen’s tam - my proud parents as my guests, finally getting their ceremony - I suppose you could say yes, I embraced it, because, quite simply, Queen’s embraced me.
Chère Jill, toutes mes chaleureuses félicitations pour cette reconnaissance et ce moment unique dans votre parcours de vie . Et vous portez très bien ce béret « Tam »🤩 . Merci pour le partage et les magnifiques photos.
Jill, this is beyond brilliant! I knew that when I was raising my wee dram at The Writer’s Room in Toronto, there was a higher purpose in the air! Bravo, love. 💃🏼