A music career... with benefits!

... and no, I'm not referring to health insurance, a dental plan, a pension or sick leave.

Photographed by Dean Drouillard

Sometimes I fantasize about the things that most working people take for granted: a regular commute (one that doesn’t require airport security), paid sick leave (what a concept!), working 9-5, a “salary”! I’ve also always idealized the concept of the “office water cooler”- a place to simply shoot the shit with colleagues, and take stock of everything from the mundane to the miraculous in our daily lives.

My career comes with more unconventional “benefits”: beer and wine on the backstage rider (more of an occupational hazard, really), a sparkly-wardrobe budget as a tax write-off, cued applause when I show up for work (as in, walk out on stage.)

But 20 years into a lifelong career, I have found that the most meaningful “work perk” is the chance to travel to other cities and sneak in visits with old friends and family with a frequency that allows me to deepen my long-distance relationships in significant ways.

I wish I lived closer to my sweet nephew, but I cherish my in-person visits.

I was reminded of this hidden work “benefit” this past weekend in Winnipeg, where I was scheduled to perform as part of Festival Du Voyageur. I decided to fly in a day early to avoid any winter travel delays, and also to take advantage of the opportunity to have an in-person songwriting session with one of my favourite Canadian singer/songwriters, Grant Davidson, aka Slow Leaves.

While technology has opened up a world of possibility for co-writing, I’ve gotta say there’s nothing like sitting across from another person, acoustic guitars in hand, and not having to click “original sound” on Zoom (a reference that only musicians will get). It quite literally IS the original sound!

Following the session, I parachuted into a lovely family reunion between my father-in-law’s 84-year old twin sister and her two sisters (my husband’s beloved aunts), who live in Montreal, Winnipeg and NYC, respectively. Having had plenty of opportunities to visit with each of them touring these cities over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of really getting to know them, so that I genuinely consider them my family too now (forget the “in-law” part.)

Cousin Katherine, Aunt Heather, Aunt Beverley, Uncle Bob (I can say now: Bob’s my uncle), me and cool Aunt Donna out for a family meal in Winnipeg.

After dinner, my longtime musician friend Julie Penner (Do Make Say Think/Broken Social Scene) texted that her son Sal’s teen band, We’re Only Here for the Snacks were competing in a Battle of the Bands, so I hopped over in an Uber just in time to see them get an honourable mention (and a $400 cash prize.) I found myself right in the middle of a family celebration between Julie, her husband Jason Tait (of The Weakerthans) and their two boys, ages 9 and 13, and I felt the deep privilege of bearing witness to this joyful family snapshot- the benefit of being there, in Winnipeg, the night before my show.

Next time I see those boys, in a few years perhaps, they won’t be so little. And who knows when I will see my husband’s aunts gathered around a single table again. Now that two of them are well into their eighties, they don’t plan to travel much anymore.

Time passes. I’m lucky, I get to cover a lot of ground and catch glimpses of the people and places I love, in their natural environments.

For years, whenever I would find myself in Toronto, I’d always reach out to my old high school boyfriend/forever pal, Jeff Naylor. While I took the artistic route, he became a downtown business exec, and I enjoyed professionally-teasing him, inquiring about booking a “business lunch” with him. It became our inside joke, and he would periodically reach out to ask when I was touring again in the area, as we had important “business” to discuss. The agenda included old high school gossip, and as time passed, it moved on to our respective relationships, marriages, babies… essentially, the business of life, coupled with big belly-laughs, the kind you get between old friends.

Unfortunately, during the pandemic Jeff became very ill, and sadly never recovered. He passed away last year leaving behind two young daughters, the same ages as my kids.

I wish that I could schedule another “business lunch” with you, Jeff. xo

As I type, I am on a flight from Montréal to Paris, about to begin a European tour. But just before it begins, I have a special rendez-vous planned with my best friend, Laura. We grew up together in Port Credit, ON, we came of age together, but for our entire adult lives we have lived far apart. Me in Vancouver, with my Canadian husband and kids, and Laura in the Netherlands with her Italian husband and three boys. What would I do without this gift of a music career that takes me around the world, and affords me time with my European-based BFF!?

Laura and I, the last time we said goodbye two and half years ago in Paris. Laura is a prosecutor at the International Criminal Court in The Hague. She is so badass. I am so proud of her.

I would be remiss not to mention the fact that although I am a self-employed artist, I happen to be MARRIED to my best-friend-with-benefits…. plus, he has a dental plan! And I needn’t look further than our daughter’s orthodontic bill to help inform my daily gratitude practice for this fact.

Still, I think it’s worth noting the unique benefit package my job as a touring musician affords. Let’s call it an insurance plan: I’m bagging hours with the scattered-about people I love now, so that I won’t live to regret it later.